Nevaeh Grace Siefker

This is a day I will never forget!!! I was praying Nevaeh would not be born yet. When I got a phone call at 1:30 in the morning I knew it wasn't good. Misty told me that she was having bad contractions and baby is in position to be born. I got dressed as fast as I could and rushed up to St. Ritas hospital. I knew when I got there we were in for a long night. I tried to make my daughter feel as comfortable as I could, I probably drove her nuts more then anything. But there is nothing worse the watching your child in pain like she was. All I could think is if they get contractions to stop she is going to go through all the pain again when she delivers. I know misty was so scared of losing another baby ,and it just broke my heart to know if they didn't  stop contractions that she would lose another little girl. I'm not sure why misty has to go through all the pain she is and so much death in the last year. Sometimes I wonder if it is the kind of life I live ,that  makes my daughter pay for my sins. I would of done anything I could for my daughter or granddaughter that night,but I knew all I could do was pray she wasn't going to be born that night. But God obviously had other plans for Nevaeh Grace. Such a beautiful name and beautiful baby ,she was so tiny . But the first thing I noticed was that she looked like misty, But they told us right away she was way to little to survive. Her little lungs were not developed yet, she didn't take a breath when she was born either. She was determined to come out and see her mommy and feel her mommy hold her,before she went to heaven to have the FATHER hold her. So now Lexi and Nevaeh are together up there playing. This is a day I will never forget !!!!! Now I just pray that God heals my daughters heart and gives her peace . Because my pain stops when my daughters pain stops. It just killed me because she has been through so much and it just wasn't fair for her to lose another daughter and it hasn't even been a year since she lost her first daughter. So my heart breaks for her and I just pray God see's her pain and blesses her in another way. Misty just remeber If I could of done anything to stop your pain I would of. I know I have to go back to work Monday but if you need me I will be there for you as much as I possibly can be , I love you and I love them Grandbabies!!! Just know that Lexi now has her little sister up there with her now that will watch over her.

The first time I held you I looked down at you and you were moving your eyebrows like you wanted to open your eyes and look at me!  I fell in love with you at that moment and everytime I close my eyes I see that!  I miss you kicking me in the belly and making me have to run to the bathroom all the time!  It just doesnt feel right not being able to feel you in my belly or to be able to hold you in my arms!  I know God is holding you in His arms though and I know your with your big sister!  I\'m blowing you both big kisses!  You girls took part of my heart away!  Your brother asked me if we could live up in heaven with his two sisters he loved you very much too and he never even got to meet you!